Umm Marriage? I'm Only 20!!

So as you know, I'm a student at Utah State University in Logan, Utah. If you don't know ANYTHING about Utah, one of the most important things to understand is that Utahns (and some of Idaho) think the world revolves around you being married. I have been in school here for 2 years and in that time I have had 0 committed relationships, I am 20 years old, and I have so many plans like study abroad and internships and yet I still feel like I am doing nothing with my life because I'm SINGLE! 

Let's talk about my night tonight. I worked a long shift, was planning some amazing weekends that I'll have while spending my whole summer studying abroad in Brussels, Belgium, and also went on Instagram to see 2 engagements and 3 posts that a few ex's had posted about the "love of their life". They are not more than 20 years old and 2 of them are already engaged after only dated 2-4 months. WTH??? How can, in 2-4 months, decide you want to spend the rest of your life with when I cannot even choose what classes I want to take for Fall semester in that time. 

I'm honestly astounded by the time frame of these engagements. Many think it's because they are LDS and do not believe in honestly, I think its because the community around us puts this pressure on each student from the minute they graduate high school that finding who you are and what you want isn't the most important thing. It's marriage. That finding that love should start with being legally bound and then finding out if you can live with them, if you have a physical connection with them, and if you actually love them in spite of their daily flaws. 

When I was 9 my parents got divorced and from then on I helped multiple friends go through their trials of watching their own parents divorce. Getting married and then finding out if you actually love them is not an option for me. I will not get married before finding out who I really am and achieving the goals that will help me find that and help me be more confident in myself. At USU, the girls that are single and the girls that are getting older and still aren't married are looked down upon, but when we choose to get married, we will have found not only ourselves and out place in the world, but we will have confidence going into the marriage that even if it doesn't work out, we know how to be by ourselves and work hard for ourselves.

Looking at single college students with disappointment shouldn't be the standard. They should be looked at with support for the amazing life and career they will lead with the confidence they have in themselves to not need a man/women to make their life meaningful becuase they can create that for themselves. 

-McKell M.